The lovely people in my life

"Thanks for getting me sick." - dude at work, on his health

"It doesn't affect me, so I don't pay that much attention." - la madre, on the city of Detroit's mayoral choice (weird how I feel like it affects me, and I live 1,200 miles away from that sinkhole)

"If she is, that'd be absolutely, totally hot." - close friend on a girl