PostSeason

WhiteSox. Angels. Cardinals. Braves.

Forgetting the at-the-moment destruction of the RedSox, the Cards' earlier win, and Jake Peavy's fractured ribs, it's time for some season-ending parting shots.

The WhiteSox are going to win 3-1 because the RedSox don't have much in the way of pitching. They scored a lot of runs this season (900, .356 OPB) but had a team ERA of 4.76, 7th-worst in baseball. Chicago was in the middle of the pack in runs but had the 4th-best ERA. And the Red Sox look tired. They're playing for everything; the WhiteSox are playing loose and free, and coming into the playoffs they had nothing to lose. The RedSox also have dirty helmets.

The Yankees are going to lose because their second baseman is named Robinson. And because the Angels have cooler scoreboards. New York's team ERA is only 0.01 (4.48) point better than Detroit. De-freaking-troit! They fired their manager! Exclamation point! The Yankees also look tired. Who would you rather have right now...Vlad or Sheffield? Plus, only the other day did I realize Derek Jeter's haircut is pretty much a recipe for disaster.

The Cardinals are really good at baseball. Tony Larussa has a book about him. Jim Edmonds has an I Live For This commercial. And Mr. Pu- I Have No -jols In My Strike Zone plays first. He is 1 of 3 players to ever hit 100 RBI in his first four seasons! Wow! Hooray! The Padres have Robert Fick, and bless his heart for hitting that insane HR on the last day at Tiger Stadium, but his team doesn't quite compare. It'd be great if they could scrape out the series (how about a Padres/Angels World Series), but I'm pretty sure you don't beat the team that has the most-likely Cy Young winner.

The Braves are going to win because the Astros, despite having the best media guide among all the M.L. teams, have a 50-year old guy in their mascot suit. I'm sorry; that's just a recipe for disaster, as nice as that particular gentleman is. They also named their stadium Enron Field, which means it will now be perpetually haunted by schmucky cheaters (Jeff Bagwell?). The Roy Oswalt/Andy Pettite/Roger Clemens triumverate of greatness can't be ignored, and I've always liked Lance Berkman, but I think someone named Jeff Francoeur (anyone with 4 vowels in his name is sweet) is going to steal the show. And Tim Hudson is going to strike out 88 batters in 1 game. That would be sweet.

Then: Angels beat the White Sox. And the Cardinals beat the Braves. Finally: The Angels beat the Cardinals in 7. And a World Series comes to Los Angeles! Or Anaheim! Whatever!